Life Is One Big Complex Complication!
Eddie Murphy’s name is synonymous with great comedy.
His storied career began as a hilariously vulgar stand-up comic on the club circuit and he became a mainstream star with his critically acclaimed four year run on Saturday Night Live.
Murphy parlayed his success as a comedian into a super stardom as an actor, appearing in more than 30 movies, including 48 Hrs., the Beverly Hills Cop series, Trading Places, The Golden Child, I Spy, Dreamgirls and The Nutty Professor. His outstanding voice acting work in Shrek and other animated films added a new dimension to his career and Murphy even managed to find the time to record several well received comedy albums and a few hit records as a singer.
While Eddie can do it all, comedy is what made him famous and we thought it would be fun to go back to his roots with a collection of some of his best one liners and jokes. Join us now as we pay tribute to the comic genius of Mr. Eddie Murphy.
1. “There’s something about the ice cream truck that makes kids lose it. And they can hear that s**t from 10 blocks away. They donít hear their mothers calling but they hear that ice cream truck. Ice cream man always drove extra blocks away. And I know heís seen us, but I think he just be in the car with his friends and say: [imitating the ice cream man] Watch how fast I make these [kids] run.”
2. “Ever had a heavyset aunt fall down the steps? Make a whole lotta noise. Itís scary too because they call Jesus on the way down. And aunts donít like to fall down the steps like a kid. They try to break the fall and hold it and stop it. And that just makes the fall take a half an hour then. Real loud like (Making the noises of Aunt Bunny falling down the steps) pretending to fall down the steps) Jesus Christ! Help me, Lord. Jesus, please. Jesus, God! Help me, Lord, Iím falling down the steps! Jesus Christ, please. My shoe! Oh Lord, Jesus Christ please. Help me, Lord! Iím halfway down now!”
3. “White people canít dance. Iím not being racist; itís true. Just like when white people say Black people have big lips, itís not racist; itís true. Black people have big lips, white people canít dance. Some brothers will be in the club and white people are like, ëWhat are those [Black people] doing in here? They watchiní yíall dance. And theyíre like, ìLook at these crazy people.í Yíall be stepping on peopleís feet and hitting one another.”
4. “She was beautiful but her feet were jacked up. I pulled the covers back and it was hammer time. I shouldíve known something was up I saw the little bumps on the top of her shoes when I met her but I thought maybe it was an old shoe or something but you would never, ever think a woman that fine would have hammer time in her shoes.”
5. “Anything that you have to acquire a taste for was not meant to be eaten.”
6. “I been seeing newspapers every Sunday morning, white dudes be in there in their drawers, never having no bulge in they drawers. Smiling at you. If I ain’t have no bulge, I wouldn’t be smiling!”
7. “Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And f**ck you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe…”
8. “Bear and a rabbit were taking a sh*t in the woods. And the bear turns to the rabbit and says, “Excuse me, do you have problems with sh*t sticking to your fur?” And the rabbit says, “No.” So the bear wiped his a** with the rabbit.”
9. “Mick Jagger’s lips’ so big, black people be going, ‘You got some big-ass lips!’”
10. “I’m sadistic. I go to the supermarkets to watch mothers lose it and beat the sh*t out of their kids.”